c o u r a g e -- as it surrounds me, you, us

courage
i am still building that within myself
learning to not be shy about the things i want, while realizing that i do, have everything that i need
but, lately, i have been so encouraged by the people in my life who live and create from such a centered and pure space

purity is relative, i know

pain is sometimes the source of their courage -- from what i know to be true
and i come from an upbringing that resided in covering up the pain and silencing the hurt
so, i get it
i know why i instinctively want to fix what causes confusion and pain
and i know why i sometimes choose not to deal or see it as a place of refuge, strength or peace

-- but i have received so much power watching my friends create and grow beyond their pain and beyond the limits they place on themselves -- no matter how long it takes and how much it hurts

its beautiful and i commend you :)

this courage i've witnessed has been from past and present friends
who never knew i watched and observed the resilience and perseverance
i value the lessons
 and as it continues to surround me, i can't help but see my own reflection

as it stands, i'm in the midst of facing a lot of fears and opportunities at the same time
logically, i know that the outcome has already been determined, and that brings slight pleasure and ease
but emotionally, it's, well, fear
and i know that faith and fear don't work together

so, it's up to me and my choice to endure and confront -- be courageous, or not
left or right?
ego or heart?
intuition or control?

i'm leaning in, as mark nepo always writes in his books
i want to choose faith -- my struggles are unique to me, but i'm not alone
i too have the courage that i admire
we are, of course, of one mind -- many in body

i'm leaning in.

xo, me.

our arguments of limitations

morning!
i hope this monday meets you in peace and love :))

how often do you hear yourself arguing or complaining about what isn't working out in your life?

i would hear myself complaining at least a few times a day. something or someone was standing in my way and it just wasn't fair. 

yesterday, i decided to live stream an Agape service and it was exactly what I needed to hear! 

Rev. Beckwith talked about the idea of arguing our limitations -- or making cases as to why we aren't living or acting within our truth. why we aren't pushing beyond the limits we've placed on ourselves and WHY, oh why, we aren't becoming exactly who we are meant to become. 

i decided to meditate on this idea. and lately, it has become so intense, that my dreams have suggested the merging of my subconscious with my conscious. in other words, challenging myself to stop telling myself "no", "i can't", "no money", "no time", etc. etc. and really rely on the knowing that everything i have coming my way, is Universal. It's purposeful. It's one of my many functions of bringing global change, altering the agreements and changing the conversations. 

i woke up today, feeling ready. this readiness has already started to open doors, has brought new people into my life and develop ideas that have me a bit intimated, but i like that. feels different. feels real. 

so this idea of arguing my limitations makes incredible sense now. i HAVE heard myself defend my actions, words, and thoughts that have fueled my powerlessness, doubt, fear and inadequacy. i want something different for myself and i'm sharing this because i know there are others out there that have been arguing their limitations as well :)) let's intend to stop and push beyond the limits we've placed on ourselves. there is really nothing against us -- no one, and no thing. 

xo, me. 

the pausing...

Universal beings?!

are you there? :))

this morning i woke up and read an entry from Mark Nepo's The Book on Awakening this morning and it was all about making tea.

yes, tea!

obviously, his readers wouldn't need directions on making tea, but more importantly, it was about the pausing of life -- to recognize all that we "steep" and "brew", allowing ourselves to sip through life and slowly accept what it is that we are to learn from life.

so, of course, my first cup this morning consisted of me really pausing with every sip and thinking about all the things I'm steeping -- while being thankful for it.

currently no new job contract
spending my reserve money to handle financial responsibilities
working on mentally focusing myself on what IS, instead of what isn't

those are only a few, and yet, i'm pretty proud of myself because it's not easy to accept where I am....
and yet, the passage this morning really allowed me to see that even without having extra money, or a job right now -- i am willing to see my life as perfect and thankful that all my needs are met!

i can honestly say that i am worry free today. no doubts that greatness is already here!!!

i will be writing today and that's just allowing the magic to begin ;))

xo, me.

no fear.