Take a step back for a moment. There is no need to prove anything. The brave face you put forward everyday says enough.
I hope that when you finish reading this, you feel lighter. You just might be gentler with yourself. Everyone has bad habits. Everyone has blind spots. You will never figure it all out, but you will learn things. There's peace in that.
Read On!>>>
This is a place where cracks and imperfections and testimonies are beloved. Here, to know better does not always mean to do better, and that's okay. I believe and I still doubt. Through it all, I pray, I write and I hold on to myself. I am challenged everyday and I still choose to believe. Here, we tell stories; we don't judge.
I always want to do better. But I also want to allow myself to journey in peace, without constant criticism and judgment. I want to be a soothing refuge for myself. I try to avoid tripping over the same bump in the road more than once, but it happens. I trip. I fall hard often and get bruised. I'm not ashamed of my bruises anymore. I have lived. I am living. There's no need to hide that. I have scars, each one kissed with acceptance. If I didn't have these scars I wouldn't know how beautiful they could make me feel.
I wonder if you are ever afraid to get away. To just get up and walk out. Remove yourself from the madness. Walk out of the insecurity and the urge to compare yourself. Run and don't look back. Stop measuring yourself. Stop keeping track. Do you ever? Have you ever?
I have. But eventually, I look back. I look around and I lose my footing and I trip. I see myself doing things and I wonder when I'll stop. My assumptions threaten me with lack. I know they aren't real but I entertain them and I let them delay me. My mind can be a deceptive place.
My regrets are older than me. I grieve over things I've never seen. I can't remember, but I feel responsible. I feel necessary, then I feel useless. All the world is happening and if I don't shut it out, I can't hear myself. I can't contribute. I sit there with my cracks and imperfections and testimonies and I just breathe. Sometimes that's all I can do.
I'm not going to chase better. I won't hold on so tight that my hands lose their warmth and softness. My definition of success keeps getting simpler -- love, food, shelter, dreams. Everything else is luxury.
It has become clear to me that forgiveness makes life peaceful. And gratitude, that is what truly makes the quality of life better. Here, we appreciate the puzzles and the dead ends as much as the rainbows and the pots of gold.
it's monday!
perfect new start to a beautiful day, filled with anticipation and intention.
i decided that the word initiative i have been meditating on, will mean to start fresh each day by adding on or should i say, taking away the limits i placed on myself the day before.
it's real folks....shit is real! temptations, challenges, habits that we far to frequently participate in unknowingly until shit has happened and we stand back feeling guilty for not recognizing such.
but, i am learning that, that's the 'breaking through' or the accepting of what is true about who we are, exactly as we are, where we are.
and we MUST accept that truth, even if it hurts and brings us to tears.
change is a process and something to be committed to, even when that process includes stormy weather.
i preface that statement by reminding myself that all i've been writing in this blog, is consistent with the advice i'd give to someone else, a friend perhaps. so, why not be committed to the words I write everyday...lol, right?!
oh to live honestly! it's heart work and at times, hard work.
xo, me.
hello Universal beings!
it's been a few days -- i have been a little low on energy and self love. But i am growing and pushing through the limits i've places on my self, so i have faith that I will blossom from this feeling very soon.
magic, right?! :)
i signed up for a yoga newsletter recently, and i read an article that shared this with the readers:
"Unless we are whole and able to find happiness within our lives, we cannot possibly have healthy relationships with others. When we are unable to love ourselves, we seek affection and love from our partners."
how true is this statement?!! this is precisely what i have been battling with lately and this broke it down quite clear for me. my contract has ended with Sundance and i am in search of my next project -- i told myself before it ended that i would not sink back into a place of sadness and inadequacy. because whatever it is that we feel we are lacking, is because of us -- not others. remember that!
the Universe is soooo good to us, because when we quiet the voices in our heads -- and open our hearts to truly listen to what it is that we need to learn from our circumstances, we are given exactly all the truth we need.
and this article, was the TRUTH i needed!
i have been smothering my partner and mostly because i have been unhappy, sad, and really trying to push though the fear of when i will start working again. i must trust and worrying and faith don't mix, i know that much!
so, i do not want my relationship to implode, and i do not want to smother my partner to the point where she distances herself from me. so, i have committed myself to doing things that help me continue to give myself all the loving i need in order to be a better partner, friend, lover and supporter.
there is no us without me being good to me, first.
intention for today -- give yourself permission to love yourself today. be it yoga, reading, writing, meditating, whatever you need to do to get back to you -- do it!! :))))
meditation: i align myself with the Universe
xo, me.
when in doubt, call on the Universe!
have you ever found yourself depressed or simply sad, unable to get out of that funk?
i know i have. whether or not we care to admit it to ourselves, depression is something that is real and we've all been there. it's okay -- this morning's reading focused on softening those places within ourselves that have hardened and give ourselves permission to release it and let it go.
which means, i had to go back to those thoughts and those places within myself to say -- okay, this is what it feels like, now God, take it away....
this is precisely when faith comes in! we have to know that when we pray and ask for God's light to shine on our hard places -- they will be become soft and eventually fade away. trust that.
this morning, when reading about this process, i began to think of myself as a flower -- stuck in the mud, unable to detach from the grips keeping me where i was. i began to be thankful for my mud -- and the holding, because without this trapping, i wouldn't have been led to recognizing it and drawing myself closer to Spirit in order to break free.
this mud -- represents the trappings of my sadness, and i, the flower -- is what the world needs. the world needs to see my beauty and my light!! and it needs to see yours. this process is a daily, mental challenge. my intentions of being free from worry, doubt and fear have to be real in order to manifest. so, i am committed and staying committed.
miracles DO happen.
that's the magic
xo, me.
good morning Universal beings!
it's going to be a beautiful day -- full of love, light, peace and joy. do you believe that?
the way you start your day, sets the pace for the unfolding. i've noticed that the more i indulge myself in what truly matters; loving and being loved. i come across the most beautiful spirits. connection is inevitable and unless you choose to live in a cave, you will always find yourself connected or connecting to someone whether planned or random.
that experience alone is what i welcome. you just never know who you will meet and what you will learn from them. i read once that we should see ourselves in each other -- sometimes that's something i welcome, however, it can also be uncomfortable.
truth is, well truth. and sometimes that truth hurts and we don't want to see it, and definitely not in ourselves.
but, i have intended upon pushing through those barriers when felt. when i discover that i harbor tendencies that i don't like, it's up to me to change it. it's always up to us to change the things we don't like -- while being patient with ourselves and accepting our truth.
we are like fertile ground -- producing seeds that will eventually blossom into buds, then flowers and brighten the world. we are here to change the world. we are equipped with the power that surrounds us and that same power lives within us! isn't that refreshing!? there is no reason to hide behind our fears of our truth. the more we accept ourselves and change what can be altered -- we become more and more ready to change the world.
Rev. Beckwith states that our function to change the world includes changing the agreements and conversations that lend themselves to consistent mediocrity. something we all participate in. i know i am guilty! so in other words, we change our minds, our speech, our movements and we pass it along to other hearts and spirits with the hope that they will too change themselves and pass it along.
the world, our global energy is so beautiful and it includes all of us. one mind, many bodies!
it is up to us.
intention for today -- dare to accept who we are, where we are. and love ourselves, anyway. :))
magical!
xo,me.
do you have a muse?
someone or something that inspires you, encourages you and challenges you to do more -- and by more, i mean more with yourself, your life, your creativity, your loving, living, health -- all of you!
i'd like to think that i have a muse. it would be incredibly cliche to say that "life" is my muse, because there is so much to life -- but in some ways, life is my muse.
life brings, rather -- the Universe has brought people, places, opportunities and experiences that all could be grouped into my box labeled, muse.
when needed, i pull out a memory that really pushes me through the limits i have placed on myself. recently, an email exchange with a new friend encouraged me to really consider yesterday as a springboard to being all that i didn't allow myself to be yesterday, today. in retrospect, though i am the same person, mentally, every day i become stronger..and her words just confirmed that strength.
i loved the conversation we had because it really made me recognize the gifts that were unfolding and have unfolded in my life. and the day before any of those things happened, there was doubt and fear and worry.
new day, new chance.
and lots and lots of mew muses. life gives us all that we need, when we need it -- exactly, perfectly. think about it.
every morning gives me the opportunity to restore what i didn't allow myself to create yesterday. thankful for the eyes to see the beauty, ears to hear nature and my limbs and right mind to experience life to the fullest are always my first prayers. i create space within the Universe -- like birds do with their calls -- and ask to be led and fed as my day unfolds.
today has been an excellent day so far -- worthy of two entries :)
xo, me.
