bird by bird

lately, i have been doing a lot of listening.
it's been good, because i believe that alone is one of my greatest qualities.

friends comment on it and i suppose learning about actively listening while in middle school came in handy, because people love a good listener.

but my heart has been heavy and after most of the conversations i've been having, i feel this incredible weight and sorrow for the dreams of my friends that i'm afraid won't be allowed to manifest.

why? well, because of time -- they say. time is what they have very little of and time is what they need more of in order to fulfill their goals, dreams and to become successful (by their standards).

the urgency and the impatience for "things to work out" is extremely high... there is a silent need for the Universe to deliver what they feel they are owed, based on how long and how hard they've been working -and - to know the outcome of their projects, the risks they are considering, the partner they are with, where they will be living for the rest of their lives, their career, it's a lot!

at 29, i have been a part of more conversations like this than i ever imagined. mostly because until recently, i didn't know that i was supposed to be thinking about my social security, family, marriage, house, assets, etc. while on the verge of turning 30 -- and yet, i'm mostly consumed with thoughts of visiting Portland and perhaps getting a new tattoo. *shrugs*

why do so many people feel as though there is no time?

why do we limit ourselves and believe that there is no time to still be spontaneous, to take risks, travel to far away places, think about kids later, buy that house when you're absolutely ready or more!?

time, time, time!
i'm starting to hate the word, let alone the idea that possibility is limited.

i just don't believe it.

the more my friends and i think about what time we don't have, the more we continue to do nothing, move nowhere and dream so very little.

last night i had tea with a young woman who moved to LA from Chicago 8 months ago. she's a comedic writer. a dreamer and her light shined so brightly whenever we talked about writing and what she wanted out of life. she believed in every word. i did too.

then it happened.

within seconds after at least 15 mins of talking about dreams and the possibilities of her obtaining wealth, abundance, and movement came the "i can'ts...unless" and all the possible if/then statements that felt like we slammed on the breaks just before hitting a wall.

riddled with excuses, her language went from "i speak everything into existence" to "i can't write because of...." and i had to say something.....and then, write.

i titled this blog post Bird by Bird, because at the moment, i am reading Bird by Bird, but Anne Lamott and the entire book is about her musings as a writer and life. Bird by bird is a phrase I will forever remember because it simply means step by step. When we move beyond the limits or challenges that we surrender to, we can clearly see the steps we must take or consider when pursuing our goals as artists or in my new friend's case,as a writer.

so, i said to her. what keeps you from writing or starting the blog you speak of?

she said her roommate, and that she needs peace and quiet, her job, because it's just not what she thought it would be, she said money, because she wants to be making more and time, because she gave herself until the end of the year for "success" to happen.

*sigh*

she placed a lot of pressure on herself and her creativity. as i continued to listen, i heard how unless the atmosphere was perfect, she wouldn't put pen to paper and her motivation was shot.

i got it. i too felt that way. but what i'm learning more and more by reading books like Bird by Bird and talking to others about their creative process, is that the more i wait for that perfect moment to release my creativity -- i won't do anything, because in essence, that moment won't ever come. and we find ourselves waiting --- waiting --- and waiting.

without having to go into the full 2 hour discussion -- i decided that i'd think on ways to encourage her gently, hoping she saw value in trying something new to get her closer to her goals.

we all want "success" and though our definitions may be different, the basics are the same for everyone. Money to be comfortable, happiness, opportunity and TIME to continue our creativity.

i told her that i knew all she spoke of would manifest somehow and in ways she wouldn't expect - BUT - she would have to put pen to paper no matter what. It's funny, because we want the Universe to show up, but do we??

do we push through the limits of not having the perfect setting, enough money, or access to what we think we need in order to get started. Like Lamott writes in her book over and over -- we just have to get started. the journey and process will unfold naturally when we show up and commit.

so, get started. the world needs you. we're waiting....

xo, me.

Ernest Holmes on Life...and our choosing it

good morning!

it's been such a busy week, i didn't realize a whole week had gone by since i last wrote in this blog! I'd like to post at least three times a week -- so that will be my goal this week. baby steps :)

in addition to working physically here and mentally in NYC as I develop/curate this exhibition -- i have been, on a daily basis, setting my intention to working within a limitless belief system. logically, i know that i am capable and all things are possible -- logically. but when you begin to live within that mindset, challenges come and i found myself having to choose whether or not i was going to stay committed to my intention or not. 

yes, there are a lot of challenges in working with an artist across the country :) many. challenges. but, when i started to become really serious about setting this intention, the opportunity to work with them became full circle and i knew that i could not think within the confines of limiting thoughts of doubt, worry or fear. thankfully, we have a budget (and for those that work with artists, know that doesn't come often!), but even having the money to do certain things started to cause limiting thoughts. 

so, i went back to what i know, and that's -- if the universe provided this opportunity (literally, in my lap) then there was purpose, promise and benefit in the work. in addition to, knowing that whatever was the will of the Universe, essentially bringing my spirit and the spirit of this artist together -- something great was brewing. we just needed to step back, ease off the aspect to control and make shit happen our way, and watch the alignment happen -- because it was meant to happen this way. 

to date -- we have a venue that is remarkable -- talent that we will soon have to choose who to add to the bill and marketing partners that will create amazing extensions for this event. the alignment. our trust. us falling back and letting IT do what IT does. amazing!

it wasn't easy. when you have a clear understanding of Universal law -- when some don't. challenges do arise. but thankfully, we (the artist and i) are on one accord and it feels good to work with someone that accepts the truth of Life as it is -- knowing it's all good in the end. 

oh! haven't mentioned Ernest Holmes yet. So, if you aren't familiar -- he is the author of The Science of the Mind. Many study this book, as it is a way of thinking when you approach Life's promise -- the Source of who we are. I enjoy reading works by thinkers who seem to understand the simplicity in Spirituality being a personal thing. This is from a chapter I read this morning:

"because Life is in you, then the Truth is in you, and the Spirit is in you and Power is in you. if you will wait on this Power, this Truth and this Light, they will guide you. one of the greatest things you can do is to learn to wait on the God Power within you...." 

love and light beings! have a beautiful day :)
xo, me. 

to live in the grey!

You. Are. Beautiful.

it's been a while!
hi :)

i've been blessed with two creative jobs that have been keeping me busy busy! And though i am grateful, i have missed writing in this blog.

So, today, while doing some online research, i came across a website called 'you are beautiful' and i thought the idea was pretty fantastic! This artist, decided to print 200 'you are beautiful' stickers and share them with friends, family, and place them randomly throughout his city of Chicago. The response was overwhelming and so he decided to start selling the stickers which then lead to a movement where murals were painted and his stickers have literally been all over the world!

Then I started to think...wow! his efforts were so simple and with the simplicity of a three word phrase, he is changing the world. I am really captured by the power of YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and how this reminder, has really made people stop, think and smile about the truth in that statement.

This small, but significant act has really reaffirmed that all of our efforts, no matter how small are important, beneficial, magnificent and we should continue pursuing the things that interest us! We never know the arms and legs that will grow from our work and who it will affect. so keep going!!

xo, me

creative living

hi Universal beings!

the cleansing continues with pouring rain this morning. it's quiet, fresh and perfect. i can't even describe the beauty i see because everything seems so much more bright or green i should say. 

i have been reading The Artist's Way off and on for the last couple months. I started off really committed to reading it every day and writing my 3 pages of morning thoughts every morning. Then i just stopped -- i don't know if i needed to switch up the practice and monotony of it, or i got bored with the reading. either way, i picked the book up again and it is proving to be even more valuable. 

today, there was a sentence that struck my inner spirit and it read: "creative living requires the luxury of time, which we carve out for ourselves." 

think about that for a minute. 

when we think about our creativity, in all facets, do we make time for the things that bring us joy or luxury?

do we give ourselves permission to carve out time to be alone doing the things that we enjoy doing, that instantly put smiles on our faces?

i know that writing for me became a passion because i was good at it. everyone told me so. so, i said to myself, okay, this is what you are good at, pursue it. i became a writer--i was published and i was validated by people in the business as having talent. 

then writing became something that started to feel like a chore, i no longer enjoyed it and i was becoming distracted by other interests. now that i think about it, i could say that maybe i became scared of the hard work associated with writing and saw something easier --that could very well be accurate. either way, the process i took to get myself back into my writing was necessary. i acquired skills and other talents that i did not possess then. And, writing in this blog brings me pleasure! i am still working on disciplining myself to writing in this blog daily, but i know that TOO is a process that i must trust.

so, what i am taking a long time to actually say lol is to give yourself time and permission to get back to the things that mattered once. the things that you enjoyed, or put a smile on your face. Even if it's 15 minutes a day to draw a picture, buy some wood, cook a dessert --whatever creativity you share with the rest of us collective souls, DO IT!

let's trust this process together.

xo, me.