bird by bird

lately, i have been doing a lot of listening.
it's been good, because i believe that alone is one of my greatest qualities.

friends comment on it and i suppose learning about actively listening while in middle school came in handy, because people love a good listener.

but my heart has been heavy and after most of the conversations i've been having, i feel this incredible weight and sorrow for the dreams of my friends that i'm afraid won't be allowed to manifest.

why? well, because of time -- they say. time is what they have very little of and time is what they need more of in order to fulfill their goals, dreams and to become successful (by their standards).

the urgency and the impatience for "things to work out" is extremely high... there is a silent need for the Universe to deliver what they feel they are owed, based on how long and how hard they've been working -and - to know the outcome of their projects, the risks they are considering, the partner they are with, where they will be living for the rest of their lives, their career, it's a lot!

at 29, i have been a part of more conversations like this than i ever imagined. mostly because until recently, i didn't know that i was supposed to be thinking about my social security, family, marriage, house, assets, etc. while on the verge of turning 30 -- and yet, i'm mostly consumed with thoughts of visiting Portland and perhaps getting a new tattoo. *shrugs*

why do so many people feel as though there is no time?

why do we limit ourselves and believe that there is no time to still be spontaneous, to take risks, travel to far away places, think about kids later, buy that house when you're absolutely ready or more!?

time, time, time!
i'm starting to hate the word, let alone the idea that possibility is limited.

i just don't believe it.

the more my friends and i think about what time we don't have, the more we continue to do nothing, move nowhere and dream so very little.

last night i had tea with a young woman who moved to LA from Chicago 8 months ago. she's a comedic writer. a dreamer and her light shined so brightly whenever we talked about writing and what she wanted out of life. she believed in every word. i did too.

then it happened.

within seconds after at least 15 mins of talking about dreams and the possibilities of her obtaining wealth, abundance, and movement came the "i can'ts...unless" and all the possible if/then statements that felt like we slammed on the breaks just before hitting a wall.

riddled with excuses, her language went from "i speak everything into existence" to "i can't write because of...." and i had to say something.....and then, write.

i titled this blog post Bird by Bird, because at the moment, i am reading Bird by Bird, but Anne Lamott and the entire book is about her musings as a writer and life. Bird by bird is a phrase I will forever remember because it simply means step by step. When we move beyond the limits or challenges that we surrender to, we can clearly see the steps we must take or consider when pursuing our goals as artists or in my new friend's case,as a writer.

so, i said to her. what keeps you from writing or starting the blog you speak of?

she said her roommate, and that she needs peace and quiet, her job, because it's just not what she thought it would be, she said money, because she wants to be making more and time, because she gave herself until the end of the year for "success" to happen.

*sigh*

she placed a lot of pressure on herself and her creativity. as i continued to listen, i heard how unless the atmosphere was perfect, she wouldn't put pen to paper and her motivation was shot.

i got it. i too felt that way. but what i'm learning more and more by reading books like Bird by Bird and talking to others about their creative process, is that the more i wait for that perfect moment to release my creativity -- i won't do anything, because in essence, that moment won't ever come. and we find ourselves waiting --- waiting --- and waiting.

without having to go into the full 2 hour discussion -- i decided that i'd think on ways to encourage her gently, hoping she saw value in trying something new to get her closer to her goals.

we all want "success" and though our definitions may be different, the basics are the same for everyone. Money to be comfortable, happiness, opportunity and TIME to continue our creativity.

i told her that i knew all she spoke of would manifest somehow and in ways she wouldn't expect - BUT - she would have to put pen to paper no matter what. It's funny, because we want the Universe to show up, but do we??

do we push through the limits of not having the perfect setting, enough money, or access to what we think we need in order to get started. Like Lamott writes in her book over and over -- we just have to get started. the journey and process will unfold naturally when we show up and commit.

so, get started. the world needs you. we're waiting....

xo, me.

You. Are. Beautiful.

it's been a while!
hi :)

i've been blessed with two creative jobs that have been keeping me busy busy! And though i am grateful, i have missed writing in this blog.

So, today, while doing some online research, i came across a website called 'you are beautiful' and i thought the idea was pretty fantastic! This artist, decided to print 200 'you are beautiful' stickers and share them with friends, family, and place them randomly throughout his city of Chicago. The response was overwhelming and so he decided to start selling the stickers which then lead to a movement where murals were painted and his stickers have literally been all over the world!

Then I started to think...wow! his efforts were so simple and with the simplicity of a three word phrase, he is changing the world. I am really captured by the power of YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and how this reminder, has really made people stop, think and smile about the truth in that statement.

This small, but significant act has really reaffirmed that all of our efforts, no matter how small are important, beneficial, magnificent and we should continue pursuing the things that interest us! We never know the arms and legs that will grow from our work and who it will affect. so keep going!!

xo, me

creative living

hi Universal beings!

the cleansing continues with pouring rain this morning. it's quiet, fresh and perfect. i can't even describe the beauty i see because everything seems so much more bright or green i should say. 

i have been reading The Artist's Way off and on for the last couple months. I started off really committed to reading it every day and writing my 3 pages of morning thoughts every morning. Then i just stopped -- i don't know if i needed to switch up the practice and monotony of it, or i got bored with the reading. either way, i picked the book up again and it is proving to be even more valuable. 

today, there was a sentence that struck my inner spirit and it read: "creative living requires the luxury of time, which we carve out for ourselves." 

think about that for a minute. 

when we think about our creativity, in all facets, do we make time for the things that bring us joy or luxury?

do we give ourselves permission to carve out time to be alone doing the things that we enjoy doing, that instantly put smiles on our faces?

i know that writing for me became a passion because i was good at it. everyone told me so. so, i said to myself, okay, this is what you are good at, pursue it. i became a writer--i was published and i was validated by people in the business as having talent. 

then writing became something that started to feel like a chore, i no longer enjoyed it and i was becoming distracted by other interests. now that i think about it, i could say that maybe i became scared of the hard work associated with writing and saw something easier --that could very well be accurate. either way, the process i took to get myself back into my writing was necessary. i acquired skills and other talents that i did not possess then. And, writing in this blog brings me pleasure! i am still working on disciplining myself to writing in this blog daily, but i know that TOO is a process that i must trust.

so, what i am taking a long time to actually say lol is to give yourself time and permission to get back to the things that mattered once. the things that you enjoyed, or put a smile on your face. Even if it's 15 minutes a day to draw a picture, buy some wood, cook a dessert --whatever creativity you share with the rest of us collective souls, DO IT!

let's trust this process together.

xo, me. 

i am + i have

ciao Universal beings!

how are you? good, i hope. 
it's tuesday, but definitely feels like a weekend day for me o_0 not sure why lol but i welcome the more relaxed feeling. 

anyway, i watched a video from Agape's Sunday service yesterday and it really spoke to me. 
Rev. Beckwith spoke of using language that affirms what it is that we know about God and the power it holds in addition to the power inside of us. 

I am and I have.

When i thought about starting sentences with I am and I have, it was so obvious to me. Yes! of course I am going to change the world and I have everything I need...already, to do it. 

I believe that. 

I welcome this challenge today, because:

Divine insight frees me from fear and doubt and worry.

Self-love and acceptance is the starting point in all my relationships.

Gratefully and gracefully I live these words of truth.

these are affirmations for this week and i find them very fitting to opening ourselves up for more and more abundance and greatness that we are ready for!!

i am excited about the greatness coming my way -- you should be too :))

xo, me. 

whole(ness)

what does it mean to be whole?

whole is a state of mind, no? or is a matter of fact state of being?

if it's a state of mind, then it's safe to say that your mentality must never fall between worry or fear. because you wouldn't have time for that, as everything would be provided for you -- that you would need -- and you'd never want for anything because you'd know that all your needs would be provided. that includes deliverance and abundance and joy. your mind would stay within a permanent place of gratefulness.

as i continue to discover my creativity, i must remember that i am already whole and all that I may be enamored by from others and their creativity, that's okay, because i have my own and its beautiful in itself.

is it already here? do i already know what it is? am i already doing it? is it writing? and if so, do i need to write more?

these past few days, i've been writing more and more and finding the words pouring out of me. this blog has opened me up in a way that i haven't felt in a long time and i'm being patient with myself about it. I don't know where blogging will take me, if anywhere -- but i'm just being open to the experience that it's teaching me.

i have things to say...

my thoughts are valued, even if by this blog only. i'll take it.

xo, me