"let us continue our walk along the sea...." -- mark nepo

my latest summer read came in the mail yesterday -- and i'm already on chapter three.
Seven Thousand Ways To Listen, by Mark Nepo is the book and i've been heavily engaged.

he speaks on the practice of willingly opening ourselves up to listen.
and listening isn't only with our ears, but all senses. it's asking ourselves questions such as "do I honor what those around me need, in order to hear?" or "do i help them find their center point of listening?"

this level of listening requires patience and practice, but i know it's achievable.

when i purposely create moments of silence for myself, i hear more of the answers to my many questions, struggles, needs and wants and how to utilize my yearning for discovery to be a moment of healing, for others.

how can we make more of an initiative to listen? to honor the truth of ourselves, to others and God?

my weekly intention.

because when truth is revealed, it is up to me to keep that truth visible. to not allow that truth to go invisible again, and to honor the truth i see in you as well.  it's a beautiful exchange.

..."so at the deepest level, the most essential level, listening entails a constant effect to feel that moment where everything touches everything else."

xo, me.

bird by bird

lately, i have been doing a lot of listening.
it's been good, because i believe that alone is one of my greatest qualities.

friends comment on it and i suppose learning about actively listening while in middle school came in handy, because people love a good listener.

but my heart has been heavy and after most of the conversations i've been having, i feel this incredible weight and sorrow for the dreams of my friends that i'm afraid won't be allowed to manifest.

why? well, because of time -- they say. time is what they have very little of and time is what they need more of in order to fulfill their goals, dreams and to become successful (by their standards).

the urgency and the impatience for "things to work out" is extremely high... there is a silent need for the Universe to deliver what they feel they are owed, based on how long and how hard they've been working -and - to know the outcome of their projects, the risks they are considering, the partner they are with, where they will be living for the rest of their lives, their career, it's a lot!

at 29, i have been a part of more conversations like this than i ever imagined. mostly because until recently, i didn't know that i was supposed to be thinking about my social security, family, marriage, house, assets, etc. while on the verge of turning 30 -- and yet, i'm mostly consumed with thoughts of visiting Portland and perhaps getting a new tattoo. *shrugs*

why do so many people feel as though there is no time?

why do we limit ourselves and believe that there is no time to still be spontaneous, to take risks, travel to far away places, think about kids later, buy that house when you're absolutely ready or more!?

time, time, time!
i'm starting to hate the word, let alone the idea that possibility is limited.

i just don't believe it.

the more my friends and i think about what time we don't have, the more we continue to do nothing, move nowhere and dream so very little.

last night i had tea with a young woman who moved to LA from Chicago 8 months ago. she's a comedic writer. a dreamer and her light shined so brightly whenever we talked about writing and what she wanted out of life. she believed in every word. i did too.

then it happened.

within seconds after at least 15 mins of talking about dreams and the possibilities of her obtaining wealth, abundance, and movement came the "i can'ts...unless" and all the possible if/then statements that felt like we slammed on the breaks just before hitting a wall.

riddled with excuses, her language went from "i speak everything into existence" to "i can't write because of...." and i had to say something.....and then, write.

i titled this blog post Bird by Bird, because at the moment, i am reading Bird by Bird, but Anne Lamott and the entire book is about her musings as a writer and life. Bird by bird is a phrase I will forever remember because it simply means step by step. When we move beyond the limits or challenges that we surrender to, we can clearly see the steps we must take or consider when pursuing our goals as artists or in my new friend's case,as a writer.

so, i said to her. what keeps you from writing or starting the blog you speak of?

she said her roommate, and that she needs peace and quiet, her job, because it's just not what she thought it would be, she said money, because she wants to be making more and time, because she gave herself until the end of the year for "success" to happen.

*sigh*

she placed a lot of pressure on herself and her creativity. as i continued to listen, i heard how unless the atmosphere was perfect, she wouldn't put pen to paper and her motivation was shot.

i got it. i too felt that way. but what i'm learning more and more by reading books like Bird by Bird and talking to others about their creative process, is that the more i wait for that perfect moment to release my creativity -- i won't do anything, because in essence, that moment won't ever come. and we find ourselves waiting --- waiting --- and waiting.

without having to go into the full 2 hour discussion -- i decided that i'd think on ways to encourage her gently, hoping she saw value in trying something new to get her closer to her goals.

we all want "success" and though our definitions may be different, the basics are the same for everyone. Money to be comfortable, happiness, opportunity and TIME to continue our creativity.

i told her that i knew all she spoke of would manifest somehow and in ways she wouldn't expect - BUT - she would have to put pen to paper no matter what. It's funny, because we want the Universe to show up, but do we??

do we push through the limits of not having the perfect setting, enough money, or access to what we think we need in order to get started. Like Lamott writes in her book over and over -- we just have to get started. the journey and process will unfold naturally when we show up and commit.

so, get started. the world needs you. we're waiting....

xo, me.

Expose Yourself

"...because it is exposing yourself in your utter nudity: your wounds, your ugliness, your insanity - things which everybody wants to hide from the world. It goes against your ego, against your personality." 

@wisdom_is_love 

Ernest Holmes on Life...and our choosing it

good morning!

it's been such a busy week, i didn't realize a whole week had gone by since i last wrote in this blog! I'd like to post at least three times a week -- so that will be my goal this week. baby steps :)

in addition to working physically here and mentally in NYC as I develop/curate this exhibition -- i have been, on a daily basis, setting my intention to working within a limitless belief system. logically, i know that i am capable and all things are possible -- logically. but when you begin to live within that mindset, challenges come and i found myself having to choose whether or not i was going to stay committed to my intention or not. 

yes, there are a lot of challenges in working with an artist across the country :) many. challenges. but, when i started to become really serious about setting this intention, the opportunity to work with them became full circle and i knew that i could not think within the confines of limiting thoughts of doubt, worry or fear. thankfully, we have a budget (and for those that work with artists, know that doesn't come often!), but even having the money to do certain things started to cause limiting thoughts. 

so, i went back to what i know, and that's -- if the universe provided this opportunity (literally, in my lap) then there was purpose, promise and benefit in the work. in addition to, knowing that whatever was the will of the Universe, essentially bringing my spirit and the spirit of this artist together -- something great was brewing. we just needed to step back, ease off the aspect to control and make shit happen our way, and watch the alignment happen -- because it was meant to happen this way. 

to date -- we have a venue that is remarkable -- talent that we will soon have to choose who to add to the bill and marketing partners that will create amazing extensions for this event. the alignment. our trust. us falling back and letting IT do what IT does. amazing!

it wasn't easy. when you have a clear understanding of Universal law -- when some don't. challenges do arise. but thankfully, we (the artist and i) are on one accord and it feels good to work with someone that accepts the truth of Life as it is -- knowing it's all good in the end. 

oh! haven't mentioned Ernest Holmes yet. So, if you aren't familiar -- he is the author of The Science of the Mind. Many study this book, as it is a way of thinking when you approach Life's promise -- the Source of who we are. I enjoy reading works by thinkers who seem to understand the simplicity in Spirituality being a personal thing. This is from a chapter I read this morning:

"because Life is in you, then the Truth is in you, and the Spirit is in you and Power is in you. if you will wait on this Power, this Truth and this Light, they will guide you. one of the greatest things you can do is to learn to wait on the God Power within you...." 

love and light beings! have a beautiful day :)
xo, me. 

between logic and action

by GG Renee of AllTheManyLayers 

and author of The Beautiful Disruption and Wallflower

Take a step back for a moment. There is no need to prove anything. The brave face you put forward everyday says enough. 

I hope that when you finish reading this, you feel lighter. You just might be gentler with yourself. Everyone has bad habits. Everyone has blind spots. You will never figure it all out, but you will learn things. There's peace in that.

Read On!>>>
This is a place where cracks and imperfections and testimonies are beloved. Here, to know better does not always mean to do better, and that's okay. I believe and I still doubt. Through it all, I pray, I write and I hold on to myself. I am challenged everyday and I still choose to believe. Here, we tell stories; we don't judge.

I always want to do better. But I also want to allow myself to journey in peace, without constant criticism and judgment. I want to be a soothing refuge for myself. I try to avoid tripping over the same bump in the road more than once, but it happens. I trip. I fall hard often and get bruised. I'm not ashamed of my bruises anymore. I have lived. I am living. There's no need to hide that. I have scars, each one kissed with acceptance. If I didn't have these scars I wouldn't know how beautiful they could make me feel.

I wonder if you are ever afraid to get away. To just get up and walk out. Remove yourself from the madness. Walk out of the insecurity and the urge to compare yourself. Run and don't look back. Stop measuring yourself. Stop keeping track. Do you ever? Have you ever?

I have. But eventually, I look back. I look around and I lose my footing and I trip. I see myself doing things and I wonder when I'll stop. My assumptions threaten me with lack. I know they aren't real but I entertain them and I let them delay me. My mind can be a deceptive place.

My regrets are older than me. I grieve over things I've never seen. I can't remember, but I feel responsible. I feel necessary, then I feel useless. All the world is happening and if I don't shut it out, I can't hear myself. I can't contribute. I sit there with my cracks and imperfections and testimonies and I just breathe. Sometimes that's all I can do.

I'm not going to chase better. I won't hold on so tight that my hands lose their warmth and softness. My definition of success keeps getting simpler -- love, food, shelter, dreams. Everything else is luxury. 

It has become clear to me that forgiveness makes life peaceful. And gratitude, that is what truly makes the quality of life better. Here, we appreciate the puzzles and the dead ends as much as the rainbows and the pots of gold.

i want for you, what you want for you...

good morning Universal beings!

i decided to do a 21 day meditation challenge all about love and i invited my sister and two good friends to do it along with me. the mantra that has been reinforced when considering love is; "i want for you, what you want for you." 

think about that.

i want for you, what YOU want for you.

when i started meditating on that mantra, i began to feel really calm and in a state of acceptance. far too often, we are focused on what it is that we want, that we miss out on what our loved ones want or need, for themselves. 

being in a relationship can create an atmosphere of being blind and deaf to what the essential needs are from our partners. this mantra, which i urge you to try for at least a week, will help you be in a place of acceptance and peace.  Life is all about being happy and joyful! 

when we have been assigned to certain people, it is crucial that we accept our assignment with an understanding that what we want should be respected just as much as the needs of our partners. 

how can you open yourself more to explore the needs of your partner and to listen to those needs, without judgement, excuses or responses?

let's try it!

xo, me. 

the flower in the mud

when in doubt, call on the Universe!

have you ever found yourself depressed or simply sad, unable to get out of that funk?

i know i have. whether or not we care to admit it to ourselves, depression is something that is real and we've all been there. it's okay -- this morning's reading focused on softening those places within ourselves that have hardened and give ourselves permission to release it and let it go. 

which means, i had to go back to those thoughts and those places within myself to say -- okay, this is what it feels like, now God, take it away....

this is precisely when faith comes in! we have to know that when we pray and ask for God's light to shine on our hard places -- they will be become soft and eventually fade away. trust that. 

this morning, when reading about this process, i began to think of myself as a flower -- stuck in the mud, unable to detach from the grips keeping me where i was. i began to be thankful for my mud -- and the holding, because without this trapping, i wouldn't have been led to recognizing it and drawing myself closer to Spirit in order to break free. 

this mud -- represents the trappings of my sadness, and i, the flower -- is what the world needs. the world needs to see my beauty and my light!! and it needs to see yours. this process is a daily, mental challenge. my intentions of being free from worry, doubt and fear have to be real in order to manifest. so, i am committed and staying committed. 

miracles DO happen. 
that's the magic

xo, me.  

the trying...faith and the knowing

good morning Universal beings!

another day of being grateful -- for listening -- for seeing -- for living.

it's amazing how logically, we know all of these things. we open ourselves up to it on a daily basis with our prayers and meditation practices. but are we truly living these words? are we truly living without doubt, worry and fear?

are we trusting God -- with a knowing that all our needs will be met?

it's really important to practice the work that we may read about and chant to. we have to live our truth and accept all that we end up seeing, hearing and reading that may be a direct reflection of ourselves. that is the work. acceptance. 

we can't have fear when pulled in a certain direction. we must go and trust that it is for us, perfectly.

when i reflect on my life and how much i thought i needed -- and prided myself -- on controlling the outcome for everything, i become sad when i realize how i stood in the way of the Universe providing me with all that i needed that i took ownership of providing myself. 

i didn't have faith and even though i was speaking such, i wasn't living that truth. 

now, i am willing to accept all the goodness in my life, because i know that the Universe will always provide! 

i believe that and i am open to what the Universe provides. So far, I've had a pretty amazing 2014. It's been incredible and I KNOW that more is to come! 

i am choosing to have faith
i am choosing to be open to all the good that is to come in my life

magic. 
xo, me.