like a wildflower.

"I don't know what direction I'm going in, but I know how I want to feel..." -gg renee

like this...a wildflower.
free and certain that as i effortlessly grow - i'll always be nourished and watered

lately, i have been feeling just. like. this. :))
it's such a beautiful feeling and i am manifesting more and more of how i want to feel, every.single.day.

before i started this deep dive, i would focus on who i wasn't, what i didn't have, and what wasn't happening in my life.

what you focus on will grow, right?

so as resentment started to grow, mental paralysis of my creativity started to become a constant and my energy level suffered let alone my confidence in completing simple tasks....

yea, i became a version of myself i did not know, recognized or loved.

then, one morning -- i woke up thinking about wildflowers and how beautiful they are in all their colors, lengths, shapes, sizes, scents, etc. the word effortless came to mind and i began to really value the ease in personal growth by allowing the Universe to take care of what i didn't have to --

trust/certainty.

deep diving into my own insecurities and inner struggles with what i know i deserve. logically, it's a no brainer. why wouldn't i deserve the abundance of life, love, peace and happiness. but of course, doubt, worry and fear sneaks in where there are empty spaces, so i am committed to filling those gaps with more love and more trust that all my needs will be met as i continue to deep dive into nourishing my spiritual, mental, physical and emotional self.

and grow, like a wildflower. ;)

xo, me.

our self with the Self

THE SOUL DOES NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT SOCIETY VALUES. IT DOESN'T MEASURE SELF-WORTH BY THE SIZE OF OUR BANK ACCOUNT, THE SIZE OF OUR HIPS OR BICEPS, THE SQUARE FOOTAGE OF OUR HOME OR HOW MANY CARS ARE PARKED IN OUR GARAGE. THESE ARE NOT SPIRITUAL MILESTONES, BUT THEY CAN BE MILLSTONES CHOKING OUR SPIRIT. WHEN WE DON’T MATERIALLY POSSESS WHAT WE FEEL WE DESERVE, COMPASSIONATE PATIENCE DISSOLVES ILLUSIONS OF ENTITLEMENT AND SELF-BLAME. WE QUIT PICKING ON OURSELVES, WE QUIT TINKERING WITH SURFACE IMPROVEMENTS AND BEGIN DIGGING DEEP INTO OUR INTERIORITY.  WITH COMPASSIONATE PATIENCE, INSIGHT BECOMES THE INNER AUTHORITY WE LISTEN AND RESPOND TO

Rev. Michael Beckwith

How we choose to measure success, is rooted in how we measure our relationship with God and ourselves. How do we decipher from the voice of our ego or emotional self with the voice of Spirit or our intuition? 

While listening to the sermon this morning from Rev. Michael, it was clear to me that this idea of "letting go" and really choosing to be free from our attempts to control, fix or participate in arguments of limitations is absolute. it is something we really should choose to do. it's more than just letting go of the past or memorizing affirmations to alter our damaging thoughts about ourselves, circumstances or others -- it's about KNOWING we have all that we need and without thinking about much else, focus ourselves on being our most honest and brightest lights through the wisdom, creativity and joy that lies within us. 

we do this with our spiritual practice -- meditation, yoga, prayer, running, cooking, music, art -- whatever lends itself to being still, quiet and grateful. we use our practice to enhance our connection with ourselves, each other and the world. the extensions come with the gathering of like minds -- whom the universe supplies when we are ready!

i'm learning that there are worldly and spiritual meanings to everything, especially success. with intention, today i choose to lessen the grip my ego has when it comes to opportunities, where i usually place weight on my degrees and levels of education -- i know that what the universe opens up, is meant for me. everyday i strive to be a global citizen, working towards changing the conversations and agreements on a global scale. because i believe that love is really all that matters. 

last week-- my work and talents have become bi-coastal in a very unexpected way! my heart is open and i am so excited for what's to come. nyc i'll see you in may :))

xo, me.

creative living

hi Universal beings!

the cleansing continues with pouring rain this morning. it's quiet, fresh and perfect. i can't even describe the beauty i see because everything seems so much more bright or green i should say. 

i have been reading The Artist's Way off and on for the last couple months. I started off really committed to reading it every day and writing my 3 pages of morning thoughts every morning. Then i just stopped -- i don't know if i needed to switch up the practice and monotony of it, or i got bored with the reading. either way, i picked the book up again and it is proving to be even more valuable. 

today, there was a sentence that struck my inner spirit and it read: "creative living requires the luxury of time, which we carve out for ourselves." 

think about that for a minute. 

when we think about our creativity, in all facets, do we make time for the things that bring us joy or luxury?

do we give ourselves permission to carve out time to be alone doing the things that we enjoy doing, that instantly put smiles on our faces?

i know that writing for me became a passion because i was good at it. everyone told me so. so, i said to myself, okay, this is what you are good at, pursue it. i became a writer--i was published and i was validated by people in the business as having talent. 

then writing became something that started to feel like a chore, i no longer enjoyed it and i was becoming distracted by other interests. now that i think about it, i could say that maybe i became scared of the hard work associated with writing and saw something easier --that could very well be accurate. either way, the process i took to get myself back into my writing was necessary. i acquired skills and other talents that i did not possess then. And, writing in this blog brings me pleasure! i am still working on disciplining myself to writing in this blog daily, but i know that TOO is a process that i must trust.

so, what i am taking a long time to actually say lol is to give yourself time and permission to get back to the things that mattered once. the things that you enjoyed, or put a smile on your face. Even if it's 15 minutes a day to draw a picture, buy some wood, cook a dessert --whatever creativity you share with the rest of us collective souls, DO IT!

let's trust this process together.

xo, me. 

the removal of such...

ciao Universe!

it rained here in sunny southern california :) most people don't think we experience 'weather' lol but we do. i welcome this rain, it's so refreshing and cleansing. the sun is out and the trees and flowers are bright and beautiful, the birds are chirping -- it's such a perfect morning. 

i woke up early today, 6:30 to be exact and the rain made me think about the word removal -- and all that we don't let go of or get rid of. symbolically, the rain cleansing LA this morning made me feel so clear of clutter that i have allowed to build up within in, on me, around me --it's necessary to remove it in order for us to grow and become more open!

i understand why people cleanse their bodies. i used to do it on a quarterly basis and i think i will start doing that again. it puts you in a mindset of being more aware of what we put in our bodies and what we allow around our bodies, minds, spirits. 

i also have been challenging myself to stop doing things that i do not enjoy or bring pleasure to me. i ended a volunteer job i had the other day because it no longer served my spirit -- the energy and atmosphere wasn't serving the purpose it should have been, and i do not regret it. i am still in search of a place to practice my yoga and really become immersed in the culture there, this place was not that place -- and that is okay. it was my first experience here in LA, and in life period -- and i look forward to having many more experience to grow and mature my practice!

i am learning that part of be-coming has EVERYTHING to do with awareness of self. what works, what doesn't -- what hurts, what feels good, etc. etc. every morning i have been meditating on the idea of aligning myself with the Universe -- letting go of things i have chosen to worry about or become doubtful of, such as money, bills, debt. faith and worry do not mix and i am committed to staying faithful and trusting that God already has a plan. the blessing is already here! 

so, i say all of this to continue on a path of removing what no longer works -- my spiritual mentor Mark Nepo would call that sacrifice, as it brings us closer to spirit. i value that and i want to become closer, so the shedding must happen!

let's be magical :))

xo, me. 

dependency of self

Universal beings! This is LA as the sun begins to set. how perfect, right?

Such beauty has to be captured when seen, and preserved for later viewing. This morning I had a conversation with a friend about "self" and whether or not, love, confidence, courage existed so she wouldn't lean on men she dated as a need for validation. 

it's a developmental process and like I shared the other day, i am in that same boat. 

i find that more and more women are stuck, stuck between the idea of independence and dependency. We think we are independent because we can pay our own bills, or own our homes and cars -- but emotionally, we are dependent. And, i find that to be worse....

as emotionally beings, it is our only function to love and be loved. we must open ourselves up in order to feel the greatness and beauty of life. AND, we also must leave ourselves open to do the same for others. We MUST let our light shine, so that others give themselves permission to do the same. 

when we find ourselves in relationships, we often lean on our lover for support, validation and acceptance. if i don't touch any part of you with this blog, at least be touched by the idea to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and where you are. 

this idea has been a bit difficult to be consistent with and i'd like to do better. but, it's a day by day process. i have faith that i will become stronger and accept myself more and more each day. it helps to be sure to nourish myself each day with reading material, yoga, spinning, or enjoying a movie/tv show that makes me smile. sometimes, it takes little things to get us feeling better about who we are and where we are in life.

i must know and continue to tell myself that i am whole, i am enough and i am okay. i am right where i need to be; otherwise, my heart will lead me exactly to where i need to be. we are of the Universe and the Universe is of us...

such magnificent love we share!!!!

xo, me. 

i am + i have

ciao Universal beings!

how are you? good, i hope. 
it's tuesday, but definitely feels like a weekend day for me o_0 not sure why lol but i welcome the more relaxed feeling. 

anyway, i watched a video from Agape's Sunday service yesterday and it really spoke to me. 
Rev. Beckwith spoke of using language that affirms what it is that we know about God and the power it holds in addition to the power inside of us. 

I am and I have.

When i thought about starting sentences with I am and I have, it was so obvious to me. Yes! of course I am going to change the world and I have everything I need...already, to do it. 

I believe that. 

I welcome this challenge today, because:

Divine insight frees me from fear and doubt and worry.

Self-love and acceptance is the starting point in all my relationships.

Gratefully and gracefully I live these words of truth.

these are affirmations for this week and i find them very fitting to opening ourselves up for more and more abundance and greatness that we are ready for!!

i am excited about the greatness coming my way -- you should be too :))

xo, me. 

Truth...as we are

good morning Universal beings!

it's going to be a beautiful day -- full of love, light, peace and joy. do you believe that?

the way you start your day, sets the pace for the unfolding. i've noticed that the more i indulge myself in what truly matters; loving and being loved. i come across the most beautiful spirits. connection is inevitable and unless you choose to live in a cave, you will always find yourself connected or connecting to someone whether planned or random. 

that experience alone is what i welcome. you just never know who you will meet and what you will learn from them. i read once that we should see ourselves in each other -- sometimes that's something i welcome, however, it can also be uncomfortable. 

truth is, well truth. and sometimes that truth hurts and we don't want to see it, and definitely not in ourselves. 

but, i have intended upon pushing through those barriers when felt. when i discover that i harbor tendencies that i don't like, it's up to me to change it.  it's always up to us to change the things we don't like -- while being patient with ourselves and accepting our truth. 

we are like fertile ground -- producing seeds that will eventually blossom into buds, then flowers and brighten the world. we are here to change the world. we are equipped with the power that surrounds us and that same power lives within us! isn't that refreshing!? there is no reason to hide behind our fears of our truth. the more we accept ourselves and change what can be altered -- we become more and more ready to change the world. 

Rev. Beckwith states that our function to change the world includes changing the agreements and conversations that lend themselves to consistent mediocrity. something we all participate in. i know i am guilty! so in other words, we change our minds, our speech, our movements and we pass it along to other hearts and spirits with the hope that they will too change themselves and pass it along. 

the world, our global energy is so beautiful and it includes all of us. one mind, many bodies! 

it is up to us. 

intention for today -- dare to accept who we are, where we are. and love ourselves, anyway. :))

magical!

xo,me. 

abundance!

good morning Universal beings!

how are you feeling? :)

hopefully refreshed and optimistic! i decided to take a 7am power cycling/yoga class and i don't know why i waited so long to do this. it was fantastic and exactly what i needed to jump start my mid-week productivity. 

but what i thought was very fitting -- was that the intention for the month was abundance. it was absolutely what i needed to see and hear. i should have taken a picture of the sign that was front and center before all the cyclists. with each breath, we took in thoughts of where we wanted abundance and exhaled all that we needed to give up in order to receive our blessings. 

sacrifice, as i have learned, is the giving up of what no longer works. 

this is what i chose to focus on while pedaling my way up and down hills -- though physically, i was present, and giving it my all. mentally, i couldn't help but to think and consider all the ways in which i may be standing in my own way. so my intention for the day, is to the step aside. and really allow the Universe to usher in all the abundance that i've been promised. 

the greatness lives within me, my core being, so i have no reason to fear what comes my way, because i'm ready and already equipped.  

many of you may know that i just ended a contract with the Sundance Film Festival -- in which i was their social media coordinator. 2 weeks in beautiful park city, utah, i had an enormous amount of time to reflect, restore and reprogram my thinking and behaviors. 

so i'm ready.  the class this morning was a beautiful reminder of all that i had started to put into progress for myself. abundance is what i want and in order for me to receive, i MUST be open and ready. 

abundance of self
abundance of love
abundance of creativity
abundance of happiness
abundance of peace
abundance of self discovery
abundance of health
abundance of beauty
abundance of opportunity 

to name a few....

how will you open yourself up to more abundance in your life?

dare to be open and you shall receive.

xo, me.