lately, i have been doing a lot of listening.
it's been good, because i believe that alone is one of my greatest qualities.
friends comment on it and i suppose learning about actively listening while in middle school came in handy, because people love a good listener.
but my heart has been heavy and after most of the conversations i've been having, i feel this incredible weight and sorrow for the dreams of my friends that i'm afraid won't be allowed to manifest.
why? well, because of time -- they say. time is what they have very little of and time is what they need more of in order to fulfill their goals, dreams and to become successful (by their standards).
the urgency and the impatience for "things to work out" is extremely high... there is a silent need for the Universe to deliver what they feel they are owed, based on how long and how hard they've been working -and - to know the outcome of their projects, the risks they are considering, the partner they are with, where they will be living for the rest of their lives, their career, it's a lot!
at 29, i have been a part of more conversations like this than i ever imagined. mostly because until recently, i didn't know that i was supposed to be thinking about my social security, family, marriage, house, assets, etc. while on the verge of turning 30 -- and yet, i'm mostly consumed with thoughts of visiting Portland and perhaps getting a new tattoo. *shrugs*
why do so many people feel as though there is no time?
why do we limit ourselves and believe that there is no time to still be spontaneous, to take risks, travel to far away places, think about kids later, buy that house when you're absolutely ready or more!?
time, time, time!
i'm starting to hate the word, let alone the idea that possibility is limited.
i just don't believe it.
the more my friends and i think about what time we don't have, the more we continue to do nothing, move nowhere and dream so very little.
last night i had tea with a young woman who moved to LA from Chicago 8 months ago. she's a comedic writer. a dreamer and her light shined so brightly whenever we talked about writing and what she wanted out of life. she believed in every word. i did too.
then it happened.
within seconds after at least 15 mins of talking about dreams and the possibilities of her obtaining wealth, abundance, and movement came the "i can'ts...unless" and all the possible if/then statements that felt like we slammed on the breaks just before hitting a wall.
riddled with excuses, her language went from "i speak everything into existence" to "i can't write because of...." and i had to say something.....and then, write.
i titled this blog post Bird by Bird, because at the moment, i am reading Bird by Bird, but Anne Lamott and the entire book is about her musings as a writer and life. Bird by bird is a phrase I will forever remember because it simply means step by step. When we move beyond the limits or challenges that we surrender to, we can clearly see the steps we must take or consider when pursuing our goals as artists or in my new friend's case,as a writer.
so, i said to her. what keeps you from writing or starting the blog you speak of?
she said her roommate, and that she needs peace and quiet, her job, because it's just not what she thought it would be, she said money, because she wants to be making more and time, because she gave herself until the end of the year for "success" to happen.
*sigh*
she placed a lot of pressure on herself and her creativity. as i continued to listen, i heard how unless the atmosphere was perfect, she wouldn't put pen to paper and her motivation was shot.
i got it. i too felt that way. but what i'm learning more and more by reading books like Bird by Bird and talking to others about their creative process, is that the more i wait for that perfect moment to release my creativity -- i won't do anything, because in essence, that moment won't ever come. and we find ourselves waiting --- waiting --- and waiting.
without having to go into the full 2 hour discussion -- i decided that i'd think on ways to encourage her gently, hoping she saw value in trying something new to get her closer to her goals.
we all want "success" and though our definitions may be different, the basics are the same for everyone. Money to be comfortable, happiness, opportunity and TIME to continue our creativity.
i told her that i knew all she spoke of would manifest somehow and in ways she wouldn't expect - BUT - she would have to put pen to paper no matter what. It's funny, because we want the Universe to show up, but do we??
do we push through the limits of not having the perfect setting, enough money, or access to what we think we need in order to get started. Like Lamott writes in her book over and over -- we just have to get started. the journey and process will unfold naturally when we show up and commit.
so, get started. the world needs you. we're waiting....
xo, me.
