like a wildflower.

"I don't know what direction I'm going in, but I know how I want to feel..." -gg renee

like this...a wildflower.
free and certain that as i effortlessly grow - i'll always be nourished and watered

lately, i have been feeling just. like. this. :))
it's such a beautiful feeling and i am manifesting more and more of how i want to feel, every.single.day.

before i started this deep dive, i would focus on who i wasn't, what i didn't have, and what wasn't happening in my life.

what you focus on will grow, right?

so as resentment started to grow, mental paralysis of my creativity started to become a constant and my energy level suffered let alone my confidence in completing simple tasks....

yea, i became a version of myself i did not know, recognized or loved.

then, one morning -- i woke up thinking about wildflowers and how beautiful they are in all their colors, lengths, shapes, sizes, scents, etc. the word effortless came to mind and i began to really value the ease in personal growth by allowing the Universe to take care of what i didn't have to --

trust/certainty.

deep diving into my own insecurities and inner struggles with what i know i deserve. logically, it's a no brainer. why wouldn't i deserve the abundance of life, love, peace and happiness. but of course, doubt, worry and fear sneaks in where there are empty spaces, so i am committed to filling those gaps with more love and more trust that all my needs will be met as i continue to deep dive into nourishing my spiritual, mental, physical and emotional self.

and grow, like a wildflower. ;)

xo, me.

"let us continue our walk along the sea...." -- mark nepo

my latest summer read came in the mail yesterday -- and i'm already on chapter three.
Seven Thousand Ways To Listen, by Mark Nepo is the book and i've been heavily engaged.

he speaks on the practice of willingly opening ourselves up to listen.
and listening isn't only with our ears, but all senses. it's asking ourselves questions such as "do I honor what those around me need, in order to hear?" or "do i help them find their center point of listening?"

this level of listening requires patience and practice, but i know it's achievable.

when i purposely create moments of silence for myself, i hear more of the answers to my many questions, struggles, needs and wants and how to utilize my yearning for discovery to be a moment of healing, for others.

how can we make more of an initiative to listen? to honor the truth of ourselves, to others and God?

my weekly intention.

because when truth is revealed, it is up to me to keep that truth visible. to not allow that truth to go invisible again, and to honor the truth i see in you as well.  it's a beautiful exchange.

..."so at the deepest level, the most essential level, listening entails a constant effect to feel that moment where everything touches everything else."

xo, me.

surrendered vulnerability

there is a vulnerability here that i am looking for within myself.

do you see her? like really see her??

i love this picture, and i love, her.

since my days of studying art history in college- i have always felt a kinship to this woman unlike many other artists i admire, collect, etc.

i am still discovering more about her personal life and her influential paintings, yet, when i came across this image the other day....

i paused.

in that very moment, i had no words and for the first time -- that was okay. 

see, we are taught in art history class that there is meaning, context, concepts, composition, texture -- etc. etc. to be explored while viewing a piece of art. in 100 words, they say, is how a photograph can be described. but i couldn't find one.

i find peace in that.

all i know is that while i have officially wrapped up projects that took a lot of time, energy and focus. the vulnerability i see in this photography is how i am choosing to see myself and others -- with permission of course; the so called truth about me, you and all that we share. 

lately, i have been reminded of said truth in ways so unexpectedly. i have begun training myself to listen with all of me while asking for complete understanding of what the Divine wants me to know. 

I am in a caterpillar stage and reminders are coming to me left and right about remaining patient. 

so i am. shedding, hibernating, meditating, reading, praying and still.

and i am trusting that this transformation will reveal wings like i've never seen before and a new discovered love of myself, and for others, including the people that make it to the other side with me and those that won't. 

all in all, the Universe provides and takes away what we need. 

i release. i let go. i surrender.

xo, me. 

bird by bird

lately, i have been doing a lot of listening.
it's been good, because i believe that alone is one of my greatest qualities.

friends comment on it and i suppose learning about actively listening while in middle school came in handy, because people love a good listener.

but my heart has been heavy and after most of the conversations i've been having, i feel this incredible weight and sorrow for the dreams of my friends that i'm afraid won't be allowed to manifest.

why? well, because of time -- they say. time is what they have very little of and time is what they need more of in order to fulfill their goals, dreams and to become successful (by their standards).

the urgency and the impatience for "things to work out" is extremely high... there is a silent need for the Universe to deliver what they feel they are owed, based on how long and how hard they've been working -and - to know the outcome of their projects, the risks they are considering, the partner they are with, where they will be living for the rest of their lives, their career, it's a lot!

at 29, i have been a part of more conversations like this than i ever imagined. mostly because until recently, i didn't know that i was supposed to be thinking about my social security, family, marriage, house, assets, etc. while on the verge of turning 30 -- and yet, i'm mostly consumed with thoughts of visiting Portland and perhaps getting a new tattoo. *shrugs*

why do so many people feel as though there is no time?

why do we limit ourselves and believe that there is no time to still be spontaneous, to take risks, travel to far away places, think about kids later, buy that house when you're absolutely ready or more!?

time, time, time!
i'm starting to hate the word, let alone the idea that possibility is limited.

i just don't believe it.

the more my friends and i think about what time we don't have, the more we continue to do nothing, move nowhere and dream so very little.

last night i had tea with a young woman who moved to LA from Chicago 8 months ago. she's a comedic writer. a dreamer and her light shined so brightly whenever we talked about writing and what she wanted out of life. she believed in every word. i did too.

then it happened.

within seconds after at least 15 mins of talking about dreams and the possibilities of her obtaining wealth, abundance, and movement came the "i can'ts...unless" and all the possible if/then statements that felt like we slammed on the breaks just before hitting a wall.

riddled with excuses, her language went from "i speak everything into existence" to "i can't write because of...." and i had to say something.....and then, write.

i titled this blog post Bird by Bird, because at the moment, i am reading Bird by Bird, but Anne Lamott and the entire book is about her musings as a writer and life. Bird by bird is a phrase I will forever remember because it simply means step by step. When we move beyond the limits or challenges that we surrender to, we can clearly see the steps we must take or consider when pursuing our goals as artists or in my new friend's case,as a writer.

so, i said to her. what keeps you from writing or starting the blog you speak of?

she said her roommate, and that she needs peace and quiet, her job, because it's just not what she thought it would be, she said money, because she wants to be making more and time, because she gave herself until the end of the year for "success" to happen.

*sigh*

she placed a lot of pressure on herself and her creativity. as i continued to listen, i heard how unless the atmosphere was perfect, she wouldn't put pen to paper and her motivation was shot.

i got it. i too felt that way. but what i'm learning more and more by reading books like Bird by Bird and talking to others about their creative process, is that the more i wait for that perfect moment to release my creativity -- i won't do anything, because in essence, that moment won't ever come. and we find ourselves waiting --- waiting --- and waiting.

without having to go into the full 2 hour discussion -- i decided that i'd think on ways to encourage her gently, hoping she saw value in trying something new to get her closer to her goals.

we all want "success" and though our definitions may be different, the basics are the same for everyone. Money to be comfortable, happiness, opportunity and TIME to continue our creativity.

i told her that i knew all she spoke of would manifest somehow and in ways she wouldn't expect - BUT - she would have to put pen to paper no matter what. It's funny, because we want the Universe to show up, but do we??

do we push through the limits of not having the perfect setting, enough money, or access to what we think we need in order to get started. Like Lamott writes in her book over and over -- we just have to get started. the journey and process will unfold naturally when we show up and commit.

so, get started. the world needs you. we're waiting....

xo, me.

that damn safety net

yesterday, i was told that i grew up without much of a safety net. and, for that reason - i respond to certain triggers and situations in a very awkward, emotionally self-absorbed way.

i am still processing this observation, but the idea of safety has been haunting me since that conversation. what is it and is it something that is taught, acquired or learned?

my therapist made this observation and rightfully so, because that is her job. she sensed that i have been mentally scattered and she is right, i am. but one circumstance of me forgetting to walk my dogs in the afternoon --making them hold their "do" for an extended period of time -- made her feel as though i was emotionally neglected growing up and that my interest in being aware of others that depend on me is under-developed.

hmmmm.

even typing that is a lot. but, i appreciated her thoughtfulness and regard to whether or not i tend to forget certain responsibilities when i become mentally distracted.

i don't know.

a one time occurrence has led me to questioning the levels of "safety" that has been in my life, and rather it exists today.

there are many places i feel safe. in my home, for instance. i feel safe in every room. i feel safe enough to walk around in the dark, to fall asleep with the patio door open for fresh air. i feel safe in my neighborhood and walking the dogs at night, alone. when i think of my physical safety -- i feel safe.

the kicker in all of this was when asked to recount certain memories of my emotional and mental safety, where she concluded that my emotions/feelings were not kept safe. they weren't validated as being okay for me to have or express and now, when triggered, i go into defense mode since i haven't felt safe to leave feelings on the table without fear of critique, dismissal or neglectful handling.

oh.

like i said, this is still something i'm thinking about, and the idea of being mentally and/or emotionally safe feels like something i'd like to discuss more and be more mindful of. perhaps we all should be more mindful of how we take care of our emotional health -- AND to reflect on where we learned how to take care of our emotional selves -- if at all.

a day in deep thought.

xo, me.

everyday reminders

"When you procrastinate, self-sabotage and talk yourself out of things, you are making a choice to slow down your spiritual journey (and your success).  So if you are like me, when you find yourself wishing things would happen faster,  you have to look at yourself and be accountable for the ways you slow things down.  Make sense?" -GG Renee (All The Many Layers)

yes, this makes perfect sense. 

it has taken me quite a while to admit that i am and have been the cause of why things haven't happened in my life - both professionally and personally. too often, i blame it on someone else or something else. but that blaming causes more destruction and self sabotage, than accountability ever will. 

accountability allows me to accept where i lost focus, re-focus and attempt to reconnect with myself again. 

redirection.

i never made the connection between my professional success and my spirituality until recently. and by recently, i mean within the last three years. the more the i become connected with my Self and inner-being, by having a daily spiritual practice and now, yoga.  i understand that nothing is really separated. it's all one, just like we are all one. 

one in mind. many in body. 

lately, i have been surrounded by the need for success to happen, well, like yesterday. friends are rushing to save for retirement, be in relationships that may or may not be healthy just because we are in our 30s, staying at jobs we are unhappy with, & not pursuing our passions because there may not be enough money in it -- exhausting. 

the pressure to be successful is incredibly high and GG's words couldn't have come at a better time, for me. and i thought i'd share. 

success = connection to Self (your Spirit, intuition)

i share in the anxiety with my friends who find themselves stuck or fragmented by doing what's seemingly "right" vs. what feeds me or nurtures my soul. 

we all have choices.

what GG is saying is that it's okay to slow down and reorganize our priorities. when we choose to exhaust ourselves and the people around us with our need to control, over plan and become perfectionist in our professional and personal lives, we miss out on the beauty of our lives unfolding and our success will pass us by. 

when you reconnect with yourself - exercising, meditating, yoga, travel, stillness, etc. 

that pausing reignites our spiritual relationship with ourselves and the spirit that's on fire within us. 

that fire, is our passion and it's quite beautiful when we let it do its own thing

and, letting that fire do its own thing is a spiritual process we develop by...

(1) practicing the art of letting go and 

(2) accepting that everything will ALWAYS work out - there is no right or wrong -- only what is. 

(3) trust in our intuition and 

(4) to TRUST that we'll know what direction to take AND when we don't know which way to go --

(5)  the Universe always provides someone or something to reveal the answer. 

this is exactly where i am. my professional resume is the shit! on paper, you'd think i'd be boosting with confidence because of where i've been and who i've worked with. but the truth is that, sometimes i don't always feel so confident and i don't always feel like what i've done is the shit. and sometimes i want things to happen faster and i want more and more and more. 

so, i have to remind myself of these steps everyday. 

i let go of claiming accolades, as if that matters

i let go of trying to be someone i'm not

i accept that where i am, in this moment is pretty all over the place

but, i know that the Universe has a great plan -- and i will continue to show up and do what i'm skilled to do each and every time

i let go of the need to control outcomes or seek validation

i release attention to things i do not want my power to go towards

and, really, i simply allow myself to enjoy the pleasures of all that i do, as i'm doing them, without fear!

i am only where i am because of the way life has continued to unfold on my behalf and i believe that there is soooo much more coming my way. 

that alone, makes me excited and i'm grateful. 

life is an everyday process of opening our heart to the things we can't control and placing our power on all the miracles that have brought us exactly where we are today. 

that alone, makes us beautiful beings, with so much more to look forward to! 

xo, me. 

who are you? who am i? i am....

morning!
how are you? :)

yesterday i attended a conference presented by Emerging Arts Leaders/LA (EAL/LA) about "curating your career". it was eventful and inspiring -- i met a lot of individuals who were either artists or organizers within the sector that made conversations quite interesting throughout the day.

this is the first time i've ever attended something like this and LA seems to have a lot of professional conferences as this is the city for extreme career advancement! so, i plan to attend more.

however, the basis of this blog entry was inspired by the idea of who we are -- as individuals and as a collective mind set, all having unique experiences of our own.

there were three workshops that we attended and each dealt with some level of whipping our butts into shape when it comes to managing our artistic careers; productivity, personal branding, management, financial development, etc. YES! all of these things were necessary to listen to.

but.

i only had two take away thoughts and woke up this morning and thought i'd share with you....

1) art doesn't always have to be, well, within the arts.  let me explain. the keynote speaker, Dan Goods works for NASA. Pretty amazing! He is a graphic designer by trade, attended art school and created this amazing bottle project that he perfected and pitched it to different places as an artist. No one really understood the project -- he essentially heard more "no's" than "yes's" when it was time to look for a job.

so, one day he asked his wife to mail off a resume for him -- the post office had no letter size envelopes and she instead, selected a huge envelope and sent it to a NASA Office in Pasadena, JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratory).  The man who received it, noticed this large envelope and the resume inside and pretty much said, we have to bring this guy in -- who would do this!

so, he went in for an interview -- spoke about his bottle project, graphic design skills and intentions and the interviewer said, though he didn't know anything about how to apply the bottle project to the position being offered -- he wanted to give this artist a chance and after 6 months, they would evaluate whether or not the position was for him. that was ten years ago. Goods spoke on the unexpectedness of applying our creative mind to areas of interest we may have never considered. our "moments" as we experience Life -- should be fulfilling, exciting and with the beauty of possibility that we can be impactful in so many various spaces, careers, locations, etc. he has found a career out of merging science and his love of graphic design and installation art. the projects were truly breathtaking and allowed any viewer to witness the fusion between the beauty of art and the intelligence of science.

my take away from this included expanding my mind as i think about projects and my career in general -- i'm not much for taking the reigns anymore and attempting to lead myself, but i believe in the certainty that listening to Goods about the idea of broadening my own thoughts about myself and where i could apply my creative mind is exciting to me! consider the alternative in your creative process -- who else could you speak to, play in front of and where? who could you teach? where could you apply for a job? go to school? all of those things -- the risk in believing that we are here to not just stay in one lane, but to hop around and gain experience is really the point, right? we are to become as whole as we can -- and wholeness requires movement. so let's move, build, create and thrive!

2) who we are, is not what we do -- the last workshop i attended was based on personal branding and recognizing how others see you. this was fascinating to think about, because very rarely do we concern ourselves with what it is like to encounter ourselves. with seeing ourselves across the room, talking to ourselves, confronting ourselves, pleasing ourselves, etc. we don't know. that mirror would be pretty interesting and probably scary at the same time, but mentally -- we had to go there for this workshop. so we wrote down individuals that we admired and the qualities about those people we admired. at the end, she said, now look at yourself -- see who you are, by what you see in others! YES! YES! though i had a feeling that was exactly the point of the exercise, it was really moving to witness how people stared at this sheet, trying to defend how they were NOT any of those things -- and that made me a bit sad.

see, the people in my workshop equated success as being able to possess those qualities, because everyone they admired or who they listed on the sheet was where they wanted to be, and exactly where they didn't see themselves. "i am not a writer because i have not published" "I am not really a musician, because i have not played in front of crowds of people or sold any albums" -- all of these, i'm not because statements were all based on what they were not doing, that others were.

so, i said, why is it that we define ourselves by what we do? why is it that we will devalue our own process and the work we put in everyday, to claim a title or a moniker? if i write in a journal everyday, or a blog and i aspire to be a writer -- hence i am writing, and enjoy it, aren't i a writer? the problem that i witnessed yesterday, is that in order for us to call ourselves something we MUST excel in in it or be paid for it. i have an issue with that. i believe it trumps any process we could remotely have with the experience of simply enjoying something and recognizing that we do it well and the possibility of its growth into perhaps, a career path.

just because you like to sing, doesn't mean you have to be a singer -- or because i like to cook and bake, doesn't mean i should go to cooking school. no, i enjoy those things and will continue to enjoy those things....

the pressure i noticed with my peers is that we all enjoy and are skilled at many different things -- but society and our industry makes us select one -- and to stick with it. the teacher and I both agreed that you don't have to. we aren't blessed with such unique talents and skills that make us all individually great to just dismiss some and only apply others. no, we should be embracing them all --we are creative and innovative and wise and original and just simple unique. why not embrace it all!!?  play music, cook, draw, sing, run, make pottery, write, teach, paint, design, sew, make films -- and enjoy the process of doing them all!

that is Life, that is what is possible -- not staying in one lane and stressing about becoming this one thing when we are so much more!!!

go live, go thrive and experience :)

xo, me.

Ernest Holmes on Life...and our choosing it

good morning!

it's been such a busy week, i didn't realize a whole week had gone by since i last wrote in this blog! I'd like to post at least three times a week -- so that will be my goal this week. baby steps :)

in addition to working physically here and mentally in NYC as I develop/curate this exhibition -- i have been, on a daily basis, setting my intention to working within a limitless belief system. logically, i know that i am capable and all things are possible -- logically. but when you begin to live within that mindset, challenges come and i found myself having to choose whether or not i was going to stay committed to my intention or not. 

yes, there are a lot of challenges in working with an artist across the country :) many. challenges. but, when i started to become really serious about setting this intention, the opportunity to work with them became full circle and i knew that i could not think within the confines of limiting thoughts of doubt, worry or fear. thankfully, we have a budget (and for those that work with artists, know that doesn't come often!), but even having the money to do certain things started to cause limiting thoughts. 

so, i went back to what i know, and that's -- if the universe provided this opportunity (literally, in my lap) then there was purpose, promise and benefit in the work. in addition to, knowing that whatever was the will of the Universe, essentially bringing my spirit and the spirit of this artist together -- something great was brewing. we just needed to step back, ease off the aspect to control and make shit happen our way, and watch the alignment happen -- because it was meant to happen this way. 

to date -- we have a venue that is remarkable -- talent that we will soon have to choose who to add to the bill and marketing partners that will create amazing extensions for this event. the alignment. our trust. us falling back and letting IT do what IT does. amazing!

it wasn't easy. when you have a clear understanding of Universal law -- when some don't. challenges do arise. but thankfully, we (the artist and i) are on one accord and it feels good to work with someone that accepts the truth of Life as it is -- knowing it's all good in the end. 

oh! haven't mentioned Ernest Holmes yet. So, if you aren't familiar -- he is the author of The Science of the Mind. Many study this book, as it is a way of thinking when you approach Life's promise -- the Source of who we are. I enjoy reading works by thinkers who seem to understand the simplicity in Spirituality being a personal thing. This is from a chapter I read this morning:

"because Life is in you, then the Truth is in you, and the Spirit is in you and Power is in you. if you will wait on this Power, this Truth and this Light, they will guide you. one of the greatest things you can do is to learn to wait on the God Power within you...." 

love and light beings! have a beautiful day :)
xo, me. 

our self with the Self

THE SOUL DOES NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT SOCIETY VALUES. IT DOESN'T MEASURE SELF-WORTH BY THE SIZE OF OUR BANK ACCOUNT, THE SIZE OF OUR HIPS OR BICEPS, THE SQUARE FOOTAGE OF OUR HOME OR HOW MANY CARS ARE PARKED IN OUR GARAGE. THESE ARE NOT SPIRITUAL MILESTONES, BUT THEY CAN BE MILLSTONES CHOKING OUR SPIRIT. WHEN WE DON’T MATERIALLY POSSESS WHAT WE FEEL WE DESERVE, COMPASSIONATE PATIENCE DISSOLVES ILLUSIONS OF ENTITLEMENT AND SELF-BLAME. WE QUIT PICKING ON OURSELVES, WE QUIT TINKERING WITH SURFACE IMPROVEMENTS AND BEGIN DIGGING DEEP INTO OUR INTERIORITY.  WITH COMPASSIONATE PATIENCE, INSIGHT BECOMES THE INNER AUTHORITY WE LISTEN AND RESPOND TO

Rev. Michael Beckwith

How we choose to measure success, is rooted in how we measure our relationship with God and ourselves. How do we decipher from the voice of our ego or emotional self with the voice of Spirit or our intuition? 

While listening to the sermon this morning from Rev. Michael, it was clear to me that this idea of "letting go" and really choosing to be free from our attempts to control, fix or participate in arguments of limitations is absolute. it is something we really should choose to do. it's more than just letting go of the past or memorizing affirmations to alter our damaging thoughts about ourselves, circumstances or others -- it's about KNOWING we have all that we need and without thinking about much else, focus ourselves on being our most honest and brightest lights through the wisdom, creativity and joy that lies within us. 

we do this with our spiritual practice -- meditation, yoga, prayer, running, cooking, music, art -- whatever lends itself to being still, quiet and grateful. we use our practice to enhance our connection with ourselves, each other and the world. the extensions come with the gathering of like minds -- whom the universe supplies when we are ready!

i'm learning that there are worldly and spiritual meanings to everything, especially success. with intention, today i choose to lessen the grip my ego has when it comes to opportunities, where i usually place weight on my degrees and levels of education -- i know that what the universe opens up, is meant for me. everyday i strive to be a global citizen, working towards changing the conversations and agreements on a global scale. because i believe that love is really all that matters. 

last week-- my work and talents have become bi-coastal in a very unexpected way! my heart is open and i am so excited for what's to come. nyc i'll see you in may :))

xo, me.

the removal of such...

ciao Universe!

it rained here in sunny southern california :) most people don't think we experience 'weather' lol but we do. i welcome this rain, it's so refreshing and cleansing. the sun is out and the trees and flowers are bright and beautiful, the birds are chirping -- it's such a perfect morning. 

i woke up early today, 6:30 to be exact and the rain made me think about the word removal -- and all that we don't let go of or get rid of. symbolically, the rain cleansing LA this morning made me feel so clear of clutter that i have allowed to build up within in, on me, around me --it's necessary to remove it in order for us to grow and become more open!

i understand why people cleanse their bodies. i used to do it on a quarterly basis and i think i will start doing that again. it puts you in a mindset of being more aware of what we put in our bodies and what we allow around our bodies, minds, spirits. 

i also have been challenging myself to stop doing things that i do not enjoy or bring pleasure to me. i ended a volunteer job i had the other day because it no longer served my spirit -- the energy and atmosphere wasn't serving the purpose it should have been, and i do not regret it. i am still in search of a place to practice my yoga and really become immersed in the culture there, this place was not that place -- and that is okay. it was my first experience here in LA, and in life period -- and i look forward to having many more experience to grow and mature my practice!

i am learning that part of be-coming has EVERYTHING to do with awareness of self. what works, what doesn't -- what hurts, what feels good, etc. etc. every morning i have been meditating on the idea of aligning myself with the Universe -- letting go of things i have chosen to worry about or become doubtful of, such as money, bills, debt. faith and worry do not mix and i am committed to staying faithful and trusting that God already has a plan. the blessing is already here! 

so, i say all of this to continue on a path of removing what no longer works -- my spiritual mentor Mark Nepo would call that sacrifice, as it brings us closer to spirit. i value that and i want to become closer, so the shedding must happen!

let's be magical :))

xo, me. 

create(ing) self.

it's monday!
perfect new start to a beautiful day, filled with anticipation and intention.

i decided that the word initiative i have been meditating on, will mean to start fresh each day by adding on or should i say, taking away the limits i placed on myself the day before. 

it's real folks....shit is real! temptations, challenges, habits that we far to frequently participate in unknowingly until shit has happened and we stand back feeling guilty for not recognizing such. 

but, i am learning that, that's the 'breaking through' or the accepting of what is true about who we are, exactly as we are, where we are. 

and we MUST accept that truth, even if it hurts and brings us to tears. 

change is a process and something to be committed to, even when that process includes stormy weather.

i preface that statement by reminding myself that all i've been writing in this blog, is consistent with the advice i'd give to someone else, a friend perhaps. so, why not be committed to the words I write everyday...lol, right?!

oh to live honestly! it's heart work and at times, hard work. 

xo, me. 

dependency of self

Universal beings! This is LA as the sun begins to set. how perfect, right?

Such beauty has to be captured when seen, and preserved for later viewing. This morning I had a conversation with a friend about "self" and whether or not, love, confidence, courage existed so she wouldn't lean on men she dated as a need for validation. 

it's a developmental process and like I shared the other day, i am in that same boat. 

i find that more and more women are stuck, stuck between the idea of independence and dependency. We think we are independent because we can pay our own bills, or own our homes and cars -- but emotionally, we are dependent. And, i find that to be worse....

as emotionally beings, it is our only function to love and be loved. we must open ourselves up in order to feel the greatness and beauty of life. AND, we also must leave ourselves open to do the same for others. We MUST let our light shine, so that others give themselves permission to do the same. 

when we find ourselves in relationships, we often lean on our lover for support, validation and acceptance. if i don't touch any part of you with this blog, at least be touched by the idea to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and where you are. 

this idea has been a bit difficult to be consistent with and i'd like to do better. but, it's a day by day process. i have faith that i will become stronger and accept myself more and more each day. it helps to be sure to nourish myself each day with reading material, yoga, spinning, or enjoying a movie/tv show that makes me smile. sometimes, it takes little things to get us feeling better about who we are and where we are in life.

i must know and continue to tell myself that i am whole, i am enough and i am okay. i am right where i need to be; otherwise, my heart will lead me exactly to where i need to be. we are of the Universe and the Universe is of us...

such magnificent love we share!!!!

xo, me.