like a wildflower.

"I don't know what direction I'm going in, but I know how I want to feel..." -gg renee

like this...a wildflower.
free and certain that as i effortlessly grow - i'll always be nourished and watered

lately, i have been feeling just. like. this. :))
it's such a beautiful feeling and i am manifesting more and more of how i want to feel, every.single.day.

before i started this deep dive, i would focus on who i wasn't, what i didn't have, and what wasn't happening in my life.

what you focus on will grow, right?

so as resentment started to grow, mental paralysis of my creativity started to become a constant and my energy level suffered let alone my confidence in completing simple tasks....

yea, i became a version of myself i did not know, recognized or loved.

then, one morning -- i woke up thinking about wildflowers and how beautiful they are in all their colors, lengths, shapes, sizes, scents, etc. the word effortless came to mind and i began to really value the ease in personal growth by allowing the Universe to take care of what i didn't have to --

trust/certainty.

deep diving into my own insecurities and inner struggles with what i know i deserve. logically, it's a no brainer. why wouldn't i deserve the abundance of life, love, peace and happiness. but of course, doubt, worry and fear sneaks in where there are empty spaces, so i am committed to filling those gaps with more love and more trust that all my needs will be met as i continue to deep dive into nourishing my spiritual, mental, physical and emotional self.

and grow, like a wildflower. ;)

xo, me.

the removal of such...

ciao Universe!

it rained here in sunny southern california :) most people don't think we experience 'weather' lol but we do. i welcome this rain, it's so refreshing and cleansing. the sun is out and the trees and flowers are bright and beautiful, the birds are chirping -- it's such a perfect morning. 

i woke up early today, 6:30 to be exact and the rain made me think about the word removal -- and all that we don't let go of or get rid of. symbolically, the rain cleansing LA this morning made me feel so clear of clutter that i have allowed to build up within in, on me, around me --it's necessary to remove it in order for us to grow and become more open!

i understand why people cleanse their bodies. i used to do it on a quarterly basis and i think i will start doing that again. it puts you in a mindset of being more aware of what we put in our bodies and what we allow around our bodies, minds, spirits. 

i also have been challenging myself to stop doing things that i do not enjoy or bring pleasure to me. i ended a volunteer job i had the other day because it no longer served my spirit -- the energy and atmosphere wasn't serving the purpose it should have been, and i do not regret it. i am still in search of a place to practice my yoga and really become immersed in the culture there, this place was not that place -- and that is okay. it was my first experience here in LA, and in life period -- and i look forward to having many more experience to grow and mature my practice!

i am learning that part of be-coming has EVERYTHING to do with awareness of self. what works, what doesn't -- what hurts, what feels good, etc. etc. every morning i have been meditating on the idea of aligning myself with the Universe -- letting go of things i have chosen to worry about or become doubtful of, such as money, bills, debt. faith and worry do not mix and i am committed to staying faithful and trusting that God already has a plan. the blessing is already here! 

so, i say all of this to continue on a path of removing what no longer works -- my spiritual mentor Mark Nepo would call that sacrifice, as it brings us closer to spirit. i value that and i want to become closer, so the shedding must happen!

let's be magical :))

xo, me. 

let me love, me

hello Universal beings!

it's been a few days -- i have been a little low on energy and self love. But i am growing and pushing through the limits i've places on my self, so i have faith that I will blossom from this feeling very soon. 

magic, right?! :)

i signed up for a yoga newsletter recently, and i read an article that shared this with the readers:

"Unless we are whole and able to find happiness within our lives, we cannot possibly have healthy relationships with others. When we are unable to love ourselves, we seek affection and love from our partners." 

how true is this statement?!! this is precisely what i have been battling with lately and this broke it down quite clear for me. my contract has ended with Sundance and i am in search of my next project -- i told myself before it ended that i would not sink back into a place of sadness and inadequacy. because whatever it is that we feel we are lacking, is because of us -- not others. remember that!

the Universe is soooo good to us, because when we quiet the voices in our heads -- and open our hearts to truly listen to what it is that we need to learn from our circumstances, we are given exactly all the truth we need. 

and this article, was the TRUTH i needed! 

i have been smothering my partner and mostly because i have been unhappy, sad, and really trying to push though the fear of when i will start working again. i must trust and worrying and faith don't mix, i know that much!

so, i do not want my relationship to implode, and i do not want to smother my partner to the point where she distances herself from me. so, i have committed myself to doing things that help me continue to give myself all the loving i need in order to be a better partner, friend, lover and supporter. 

there is no us without me being good to me, first. 

intention for today -- give yourself permission to love yourself today. be it yoga, reading, writing, meditating, whatever you need to do to get back to you -- do it!! :))))

meditation: i align myself with the Universe

xo, me.